Am I depressed?(a poem)

She looked at me and said I looked like I was depressed

She said I looked so sad and tired of it all

At first, I was so excited

That somebody finally paid attention to me

And saw how I was really doing beneath all my fake smiles

But then, I panicked

I wasn’t hiding it well, I wasn’t hiding my pain very well

The pain has over flooded me and I’m drowning in it

It has overwhelmed me and buried me deep under all of it

Maybe that’s why I can’t hide anymore and keep floating like I’ve always done

And then, I asked myself if I was really depressed

I’ve always thought of depression but I’ve never called myself depressed

I say it’s because I’ve never been diagnosed of it

Maybe it’s really because I’m in denial

And I don’t want to accept that I’m in pain and need help

Maybe it’s because I’m not even depressed but

Everyday, when the sun shines brightly but it’s so gloomy inside of me,

I ask myself over and over again, “am I depressed?”


hi! How’re you doing?! I hope you are doing okay!

Here’s a poem from me because why not?

Thank you for reading and I’ll see you in my next post:))

byee!

*don’t forget that God loves you forever and that it’s okay to ask for help!

A little less(a poem)

I talk to myself a lot

Constantly lost in the fullness of my own being

Sometimes when I’m in a room full of people,

I’m really in my head full of voices.

I talk to myself a lot

Because I can’t talk to others

I’ve tried and tried

This friendship thing but it never works

Maybe I’m better off just being friends with myself

Lost in the false reality I create in my head.


Hi everyone! Happy new month! How’re you doing?! I really hope you’re doing okay!

Here’s a poem from me to start off the new month! I’ll see you in my next post:))

byee!

*don’t that God loves you forever and that you should always be very kind to yourself!

Leaving you with this today🤍🌻

Poetry(a poem)

Poetry is more than ink on paper

It’s more than complex words and simple meanings

It’s the wool that wraps around me in the cold

It’s the tears that warm up my eyes in the dark

It’s the smile I hold back when I laugh

It’s the love that doesn’t feel draining

It’s the socks that keep my feet warm at night

It’s the bitterness in the coffee that I punish myself with

It’s the eyes that look back at me in the mirror

It’s the voices that seem deafening in my head

It’s the choices that I have to make

It’s the feelings I don’t want to feel

It’s the song that keeps playing over and over in my head

It’s the monsters that I feel under my bed

It’s the thoughts I don’t want to think

It’s the anger that I suppress down with a laugh

It’s the sadness I wash away with wine

It’s the eye bags that never leave my face

It’s the stripes that mark my body

It’s the scars imprinted in my being

It’s the folds that form when I’m me

It’s the good and bad and all in between

It’s the escape that reality is afraid of

Surely, poetry is more than ink on paper

It’s more than complex words and simple meanings.


Hi! How’re you?? I really hope you’re doing alright!

I just wanted to write something and that’s it. Thanks for reading..

byee y’all

*don’t forget that God loves you forever and that you’re strong, beautiful, talented, and all the good things in the world.

The Dance(a poem)

I wake up with a smile

With the feeling of positivity and cheer

The dance has stopped..

I get to work and waste no time

I plan my day and I am ready to go

I smile widely and brightly

Feeling the best I have ever felt

The dance still has stopped..

Then, I wake again

Awoken by the feeling of negativity and regret

The dance has resumed..

I am held back by the voices in my head

And I find it so hard to get up and get going

I just want to bury myself deep in my head

And disappear with the dreams I felt I had

The dance is still going..


Hii people! How are you doing today?! I hope all is well. If it’s not, I pray that God will keep holding you up in Jesus name! Amen.

Remember, God loves you forever:))

byee y’all

Stuck(a poem)

I’m stuck in this maze called my mind

I keep going back and forth

And it’s all in my head

I’m unstable and mazed

Struck by the disorientation of my mind

Unfazed by the world outside of me

I’m stuck in this body

That I don’t even recognize

Everyday, I have to knock and wait for an answer

Before I get in

I’m stuck in this life that I live

Unable to transform into the persona I admire

I’m constantly ran over by the chaos of reality

Still can’t fathom how I even got here

I’m stuck; stuck in all I am


Hii people! How’re you doing?! I really hope you’re trying to keep your head up high no matter what’s happening in your life. Remember, I’m always rooting for you🤍🤍

Today is Saturday, and a new post was supposed to be up yesterday. I had something planned for yesterday but I didn’t put it out because of the doubt that constantly lingers in my mind. Anyway, here’s a poem for today.

I’ll talk to you guys later. Bye🙃🙃

I came across this picture on an Instagram page @relationships.usa. I just really liked it😛

Love you all always🤗🤗

Answering some of my frequently-asked questions

Starting today’s post with this🤗
Not just today, every single day!!

Hii people! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! I really hope we are all doing great! If you are not, please try to keep your head up, and don’t forget that you always have God by your side. God deeply cares for you and He is aware of everything that you are going through, so you will be fine. Yes, you will because God says so!🤍🤍

So, how am I? I am pretty good. School has resumed, and I am just so glad that the school year is going fast, and that it’s almost the end of the school year. Exciting stuff!! Also, I am working on my podcast rebranding; when it’s done, I will come here and give y’all all the gist! I have been working on myself, and my relationship with God. You know, it’s a new year, it’s a fresh start for me. That’s about it!

Ohkayyyy. Let’s dive in to today’s post! Shall we..

Today, I am going to be answering my most frequently-asked questions. This is lowkey exciting because a lot of people just ask me the same questions over and over, and also, it’s a way for me to semi-introduce myself to the new followers here. Welcome welcome, by the way! Just keep reading😊😊

1.)What is your real name?

This seems like some top secret but it’s not. My real name is Barakat. I have usually hidden it and go by different names for different reasons but that is over(hopefully i don’t regret it). So, there you go, I am Barakat. I also go by Bee and Precious. Bee is just like a nickname because a lot of people don’t know how to pronounce Barakat and Precious is my Christian name.

2) Do you even know what Barakat means?

YESS, of course, I know what Barakat means! Barakat is a Muslim name, and it means blessing.

I know now, you are probably wondering why I have a Muslim name if I am Christian. Yeaa, this is because my dad is Muslim, while my mum is Christian. Yep, that’s it, no long story.

3) I thought you were a Muslim, so why do you always talk about Jesus Christ?

Mann, if I saved a penny every time someone has said this to me, I think I will be tens of dollars richer. People always think I am Muslim because of my name. Yes, I have a Muslim name, and I already explained why above. Even though I have a Muslim name, I am Christian and will forever be. Yepp:)

4)Why did you move from Nigeria?

I moved because I wanted to. Simple as that. Infact, *drops MIC*😛😛

5)Why do you love Nigeria so much?

I love it so much because it is my home country, and it’s where I spent most of my life before now. Even though Nigeria has its faults, it is still my home country, and we all have to understand that every country has its faults. We just have to keep praying for every country! By God’s grace, things will be better soon for Nigeria, and everywhere. Amen!

6) Why don’t you want to have a boyfriend now?

This is a funny question, and it’s my second most-asked question. It’s simply because I am not interested in that now because I have other things that are much more important for my life. Also, as a Christian, I cannot and will not just date for fun. I will only date when God says it is time, and when I am ready for that kind of commitment. That’s it!

7) Why don’t you make friends?

See, when it’s supposed to happen, it will happen. Please you guys should stop stressing me! Besides, I do have people I talk to, so yeahh.

That’s about it! Please y’all should stop asking me these questions over and over! My tired is tired😩Anyway, thank you for reading!

If you have any thoughts or questions, you can leave a comment. I will catch you guys later, and HAPPY NEW YEAR, once again!

One of my fave pictures now! bye people!

Rooting for you all always, even on days when we fail to believe in ourselves, and understand that WE CAN DO IT!🤗🤗

Disconnected..(a poem)

I home disconnection

I embody disorientation

I breathe the air of multiple souls in one body

I transform and become what I don’t know

I slip and slip until I can no longer be seen

I crave space and loneliness

I am fascinated by the energy of the souls living in me

I am who I am at the moment

An imagination of my disconnection


Hii y’all! How’re you?? I really hope you are doing okay!🤍🤍

I just wanted to write something. So here’s what I came up with. Happy Holidays y’all 💃🏽💃🏽

byee🙃🤪

Love you all always 🤗🤗