A clash of identities: The African and The African-American

A statement you will probably hear quite a lot is, “there is a difference between African born in Africa and African born in America”. Truly, there is but that is not quite what I want to talk about; I want to talk about the African from Africa and the African who immigrated to America. I would say that these are two different identities that can either clash or blend well together. More often than not, they would clash and that’s what a lot of immigrant African children have to deal with. The identity of where you are coming from and the identity of where you are now. Which do you associate with, the “ghost” of the past or the aliveness of the present?

This issue of clash in identities is unfortunately not spoken about a lot but it is something we experience and go through on a daily basis. I remember when I first came to America, there was unfamiliarity in the American culture, and that fear in new and unfamiliar beginnings. There was that need to stick to what you know, where you are from, how you were brought up. While that isn’t a bad thing, what about evolution and growth, I thought. I surely can’t remain stagnant in my ways or else how would growth come? Then, I moved into the stage where there was a confusion between the burning need to hold onto my Africanness so as to avoid claims of being whitewashed and that strong desire to assimilate and be like my other American classmates. Now, I am at a stage where I am indeed recognizing this clash in identities.

I know you might be thinking, why not be both? Why must there be a clash? I truly don’t know, there just is. I wasn’t born in the American culture, so I am not used to it, therefore, I have to learn and get used to it but how do I do that when I am all covered up in the richness of my African culture, fortified by food we eat with our hands, clothes adorned with color and beads, tales passed down from grandfathers and grandmothers? Do I divide myself? How do I make these two identities intertwine without me being torn into several pieces?

The African identity as it is vivid to me is the familiarity between my neighbors and me, how everyone on my street knows one another too well, the games we play in school while gossiping loudly, loud voices of our school teachers, and market days where I am too excited to see the harshness of that reality. In slight maybe nonexistent contrast, the African American identity as it is vivid to me is Malcolm X, Juneteenth, understanding of black history, identity, joys, struggles, standing out amongst others in school, being celebrated and hated without remorse, hearing the n word and not knowing what to think about it, and the desire to achieve the best so as not to disgrace the efforts of MLK, and many others. That is how it roams in my head and how I see it.

I believe this issue, although very general, is extremely individualistic. It differs from individual to individual but what you have read is what is true to me.

Thanks for reading. I hope you are doing ok:)

**love from this corner always.

Poetry(a poem)

Poetry is more than ink on paper

It’s more than complex words and simple meanings

It’s the wool that wraps around me in the cold

It’s the tears that warm up my eyes in the dark

It’s the smile I hold back when I laugh

It’s the love that doesn’t feel draining

It’s the socks that keep my feet warm at night

It’s the bitterness in the coffee that I punish myself with

It’s the eyes that look back at me in the mirror

It’s the voices that seem deafening in my head

It’s the choices that I have to make

It’s the feelings I don’t want to feel

It’s the song that keeps playing over and over in my head

It’s the monsters that I feel under my bed

It’s the thoughts I don’t want to think

It’s the anger that I suppress down with a laugh

It’s the sadness I wash away with wine

It’s the eye bags that never leave my face

It’s the stripes that mark my body

It’s the scars imprinted in my being

It’s the folds that form when I’m me

It’s the good and bad and all in between

It’s the escape that reality is afraid of

Surely, poetry is more than ink on paper

It’s more than complex words and simple meanings.


Hi! How’re you?? I really hope you’re doing alright!

I just wanted to write something and that’s it. Thanks for reading..

byee y’all

*don’t forget that God loves you forever and that you’re strong, beautiful, talented, and all the good things in the world.

The end of a great time; the beginning of a GREATER time.

Hii people! What’s up y’all! I really hope everyone is doing okay. If you are not, I really hope you are trying your best to keep your head up and I also hope that you have not forgotten that you have God by your side and you will always have Him by your side. I am always rooting for you:)

So, how am I doing? I have been pretty occupied with a lot of things. I am trying to finish all my school work before we get back to school. I am trying to reach out to a lot of people just to see how they are doing and to check on them. I have also been trying to plan for 2021, and get myself together and start moving and doing things that I need to do. Yeah, that is about it.

Let’s move onn

This is my last post of the year 2020, and I am really excited and all smiley. It has been an amazing year for this blog and I am just so grateful to God, and to you people who are always reading my posts, and those of you who follow this blog. Y’all don’t know how much your support has really impacted me. It has kept me going, and has made me try harder, and put in my best for this blog. Therefore, I am extremely grateful to and for all of you!

When I put out my first blogpost at the end of June, I did not really have a plan, and I didn’t really know what I was doing. I just knew that I am very passionate about writing, and I really wanted to impact lives with my writing; I hope I did so this year. Having a blog was not something I was very familiar with but God has been so good to me, regarding this blog.

I have been writing different things here, and every single time, I am still so surprised when I see that people are reading my posts, liking, commenting, and even following my blog. I do not and will never take it all for granted because you have all really made me smile this year. It is really amazing and special to me when people support me and I just thank God that people appreciate my writing, and support me. I honestly don’t know why each individual that reads my posts reads it, but I hope my stories, and my writings have brought a smile to your face, or even just impacted you in a very positive way. I really do hope so.

So about 2021, I don’t know what direction my writing is going to go but I am very positive that greater things are coming. I am also very positive that God is going to do greater and much more amazing things through this blog. This is just the beginning y’all! I am so excited for stories that I am going to tell, and lives that are going to be positively impacted through this blog.

One thing for 2021 though, I hope to be much more consistent with writing, especially on this blog. Although, I love writing, and sharing my stories, sometimes I just get into a funk or get really dissociated that I stop writing. I hope I get better, and become a much more better writer and even though, I still find it very difficult to call myself a writer, a blogger, and a poet, I pray that I don’t stop writing. I know that God has my back always, so I am very positive of the things to come.

Before I publish this post, I want to talk to you guys..

I know that 2020 was not the best year, and I know that we all dealt with so much this year that no one probably knows about. I know we all fought silent battles, and probably fell so many times. Yes, we went through so much but I just want to say that don’t let it stop you from flying. Don’t let your problems, and issues drag you down and bury you deep that you lose yourself. Try and fight for yourself! Try to keep your head up and keep reaching for the sky. Try and keep going for yourself. Most importantly, try and rest, take a break when you know that you really need it.

God is never leaving your side, so be rest assured that you will be okay. I know sometimes, it feels like we are going to die with our problems but I’m here now telling you that no, that is not going to happen. YOU WILL BE OK! I know this because God says so! So, keep moving and know that Barakat(me) is always here rooting for you and will always be here rooting for you.

Photo by Prateek Katyal on Pexels.com (You definitely got this);)

Love you all always, and thank you for everything!

Disconnected..(a poem)

I home disconnection

I embody disorientation

I breathe the air of multiple souls in one body

I transform and become what I don’t know

I slip and slip until I can no longer be seen

I crave space and loneliness

I am fascinated by the energy of the souls living in me

I am who I am at the moment

An imagination of my disconnection


Hii y’all! How’re you?? I really hope you are doing okay!🤍🤍

I just wanted to write something. So here’s what I came up with. Happy Holidays y’all 💃🏽💃🏽

byee🙃🤪

Love you all always 🤗🤗

The feeling of not knowing what to feel and the feeling of isolation altogether..

Hi y’all! Happy Thanksgiving! How are you doing? I really hope you are still fighting for yourself and you are trying your best to keep your head high up despite whatever you are currently going through in life. Remember, I am always here for you to talk to:)

So, how am I doing? I honestly don’t know how I feel; I know I am just living. Although, there is this part of me that’s bursting with positive energy and the feeling of excitement all because of God’s goodness. Other than that, I honestly just don’t know how I feel and what to feel; I kinda feel just so blank. Don’t worry, I am okay though, I promise. I’ll always be okay:)

Alright, let’s move on..

Okay, so I just finished watching a show(don’t ask me for the name). It was a rude awakening really and I think it’s the reason why I suddenly feel so blank. You know, my head is full of just so many thoughts, things I want to say but that feeling of blankness is still so obvious and it’s just there. This show just really moved me and I feel stuck in the reality that the show has pushed me into.

I am not going to explain what the show is about here, I am just going to tell y’all some things that the show told me and some things I got from it. Maybe, I’ll also be able to explain why I am in this state of not knowing what to feel(just maybe).

One big thing that the show speaks on is isolation. I truly believe that when most of us hear about isolation, we think of cases of people like Genie but isolation doesn’t have to be severe for it to be present. I feel like a lot of people in this world, although they have friends, and families, are suffering from their own type of isolation. Somehow, most of us just don’t feel like we have people around us and we just feel so isolated from the world around us. We can see the people around us but we can’t feel them. We feel stuck in this big bubble that can’t fit anyone else except us. We feel lost despite being surrounded by a crowd. We feel faraway, disconnected from the reality of people around us. We can’t seem to acknowledge this people who are around us. We truly feel stuck in our own little bubble that no one else can get into or maybe no one has tried to get into..

For some of us, it might seem like we are very big extroverts but the truth is that we really don’t know how to properly interact with the world around us. We feel away(gone) and we feel like no one is looking after us. We feel like no one can truly see us; we feel like people are around but are not truly there with us. So Yes, the feeling of isolation is real and many of us experience it, although most of us don’t acknowledge it, for whatever reason. Most of us do feel like this little unwanted pea amongst a field of big crops. We feel left out and not seen. You know, sometimes our feeling of isolation can be seen or perceived as a product of our imagination but you honestly can’t blame people(well, the ones who think like that) because sometimes we might just be too shallow to see beneath the surface. It’s sad but it’s reality..

Another thing that the show speaks on is not knowing how we feel; not being able to express our emotions. I think this is exactly what I am feeling right now; maybe I unconsciously got too deeply affected by the show. Anyway, the feeling of not knowing what we feel and how we feel is truly real.

Sometimes, we just don’t know.. You know, I feel like this can be caused by so many things. Maybe you’ve felt too much and now this feeling of blankness has been cast on you. Maybe you’ve been hurt too much and now your mind is just blank. Or maybe you just cannot explain it, I don’t know honestly because I have not got all the answers. All I just know is that this can truly happen to you and it doesn’t mean you are weird, you are just human; I think by now we should all have realized that being human is very complex.

If you are experiencing this feeling right now, I honestly don’t know what to tell you because I am also feeling it. I’ll just say that don’t let it stop you from moving. Don’t let it tie you up, you can still keep going but if you feel like you truly need a break, then go for it. Keep moving but realize that you are allowed to stop for a break sometimes. Don’t worry, you’ve got this! We are all going to be fine..

A quick photo break because I feel like it truly embodies today’s post!
Photo by Pat Whelen on Pexels.com

You know, when I started writing this post, I didn’t know what direction it was going to go but if you are reading this, that means you read it to the end. I hope you got what I was trying to say because you know, sometimes my thoughts are all jumbled up..

Anyway, don’t forget to keep fighting and I promise you because God is a good God, you’ll be okay. You can leave a comment if you relate or if you have any thoughts or questions. I really love reading comments and replying to them. God bless! Bye y’all:)

This is a picture I took and edited that I just want y’all to see🙃😌
p.s.it’s just an ordinary watch oo

Love you all always🤗🤗

If death is inevitable, then why are we so scared of it??..

Hi people! How’re you?! I really hope you’re taking care of yourself and you’re being kind to yourself despite whatever you’re going through in your life. I really hope so..

So, how’s Bee doing? She’s fine. She’s still so busy with school and some different extracurricular activities. Despite it all, God is still taking care of her and He’s still being so good to her; so she’s thriving.

Okay, okay, let’s start with today’s post already!

First let me define inevitable for you. According to the Oxford Dictionary, inevitable means “certain to happen; unavoidable.” I think this is pretty clear, right..

So, death is unavoidable. We cannot avoid death because at some point in our lives, we will die. We would leave Earth and we will be gone away from here.

The question now is that if death cannot be avoided, then why are we so so scared of it??

I really think that we humans put so much effort into building our lives here on Earth, that the topic of death becomes noise to our ears that hate noise. We spend our whole life chasing the bag and trying to build a good life for ourselves here on Earth. Due to the amount of time we use to chase after a good life, we don’t want our efforts to be wasted. We don’t want to just disappear from here and leave behind all we have worked so hard for.

Or we can look at it from another perspective. Maybe people are so scared of dying because they are enjoying life too much. We are diehard fans of enjoyment that feel like our lives would be empty without all the fun and good stuff of life. We just don’t want to be gone and miss out on all the fun. We want to remain here on Earth and keep enjoying and keep exploring all that Earth has to offer. We don’t want to leave the good life..

Actually, there’s another perspective.. Maybe we are so scared of dying because of all the relationships that we’ve either built or just gotten roped in here on Earth. We don’t want our loved ones to experience the feeling of loss, and to get bitten by the blood-sucking fangs of pain. We want to stay here forever with the people we love because they just mean too much to us and we also mean too much to them. Yeah, love and relationships are reasonable reasons to not want to get off Earth.

There are honestly too many perspectives to look at it from, and no matter what kind or how many perspectives you look at it from, on Earth, there are people who want to die so bad and people who want to stay alive so bad. I feel like as a society, we don’t acknowledge enough the people of this society who think that getting off Earth is the best thing they can do for themselves. I mean I get it because it’s not so easy to see deep into everyone’s minds and see exactly why they think the way they think. Hmm

Dying is viewed as a sacred topic in our society but when people intentionally die, is it still something sacred?! Death is a topic that we should really address more often because if it was talked about more often, then maybe, just maybe the suicide rate would go down by a lot. A lot of us fail to realize that death can be an option or a choice, and that’s where most of us are faulty. We treat people badly, we say mean stuff to them, we are not kind, we don’t help if we have the ability to, and all of these things just highlight the fact that death can be an option or a choice. Somebody can choose to die because of how people treat them, and this is one of the biggest reasons why some people choose death.

Some people don’t see death as inevitable, they see it as a friend they can call on anytime. I know it’s really really sad but it’s true. So much stuff go on in our heads and minds and these stuff can drive us crazy and make us see death as a choice rather than something that we can’t avoid as humans. It’s a very complex topic..

Okay, so I am afraid of death?? I don’t think I am, really; I believe that anything that happens is God’s will. So, there’s really nothing to be scared of, for me, because I know it can happen anytime whenever God thinks it’s right . Maybe I also feel this way because I don’t have very deep relationships yet but I don’t know.

In all, death is a topic that we, as a society need to acknowledge more but please don’t let death or the fear of death or the thought of death stop you from living your life, and chasing your dreams, of course in a pure and godly manner.

Although, death is inevitable, it is totally understandable and human to be very scared of it.. I just pray that God will continue to keep us all safe and keep protecting us in Jesus name. Amen!

You can leave a comment if you want; maybe you have a question or just a thought. Bye!

I just really like and appreciate this photo..bye people 🙃

Love you all always 🤗🤗

Does absence make the heart grow fonder or does it make the heart more distant??..

Currently I’m a little bit sleepy and so so cold but I had to write this post for today. I didn’t post at all last week and I felt so bad. Yeah.. Don’t worry, I’m writing a post explaining why I didn’t post soon.🙃🤍

Me right now😆

Let’s move on now..

Hi y’all:) How are you doing?? I really hope you are doing fine.. If you’re not, I pray that you get better very soon by God’s grace!

So, for me, how am I doing?? Honestly, I am good, although I have been pretty busy. I’ve been busy with school, and many different activities. I can’t complain though because I chose to do all those activities. Anyway, let’s get into what today’s post is about..

So, I was about 11 years old when I first heard the phrase, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”, and I didn’t read much into it then. I learned that what this phrase basically means is that when you leave someone for some time or someone leaves you for some time or even forever, their absence makes you think about them more; hence, why the heart is growing fonder because you’re realizing how much you like them more and all. Honestly, I truly can’t believe I was given this lie and I gladly swallowed it down my throat.

Okay okay, I know I’m exaggerating when I call it a lie because it’s not totally false; it just seems like something your parents will tell you because they don’t want you to find the whole truth about something. I guess we can call it a form of deceit on its own. Yeah sadly..

As I grew up and moved away from my “friends” in Nigeria, that phrase became very questionable. This is because absence didn’t make my own heart grow fonder, it made it more distant. Yes, really!

After being away from the people I grew up with since I was very little for a little over 3 years, I realized that my heart didn’t grow any fonder, it actually grew distant. Our relationship was breaking apart piece by piece because of that absence and now, when I have conversations with this people, it feels like we are strangers to each other. I don’t know, maybe it’s the type of person that I am that’s causing my own absence to cause distance.

I feel like I’ve grown into this type of person that loves to be alone and maybe just maybe, this is what is making my heart grow distant. Let’s be clear, this isn’t just me with one person, it’s me with every person I left in Nigeria; our relationship has just been severed brutally and it just keeps me up at night wondering why as kids, we are never really told the whole truth of the matter.

Maybe our parents and teachers are scared of us being hurt as kids and that’s why they feed us with “absence makes the heart grow fonder”; they don’t want us to be exposed to the harsh reality of the world from a young age. Honestly, I get it but the thing is that whatever we don’t learn when we are little just comes back in the future when we are all grown up and then we have to figure it out ourselves and maybe with the help of other people. My point is just that, kids shouldn’t be lied to, don’t tell them that absence will make the heart grow fonder and fail to tell them that absence can also make the heart grow distant.

I know you can be reading this post and be shaking your head, disagreeing so strongly but just remember that it’s all perspective. I view the world more deeply(you should know this if you didn’t already know).

Anyway, that’s all for today! Don’t forget to leave a comment if you want to share your thoughts and opinions; also leave a comment if you have any questions. Bye y’all🤗

I saw this picture and I loved it immediately. I hope it brings you calmness like it did me.

Love you all always🤗🤗