Hi y’all! How are you doing? I really hope you are doing alright:) If you really are not doing okay right now or you feel so lost and tired, I just want to tell you to please try to keep your head up! Sometimes, life just doesn’t feel great but I want you to tryyyy and keep moving and just please remember that no matter what’s happening to you currently, you will be fine eventually; even when it doesn’t feel like you’ll be fine, you’ll be, I promise and that’s because God says so! Please keep going🤍
So how am I doing? I guess from the title, you already kinda know how I am doing. Yeah, life is not going so great for me right now. I am just so all over, everywhere and I honestly don’t know how I really feel. I guess I just kinda feel lost somewhat but I am living. I am really trying to keep my head up and I am just going because I know that God definitely got me, so I will be alright!
Alright, let’s move onnn..
You know, today I was just thinking of how people see me from the outside. From what people tell me, and have told me, people see me as “perfect” from the outside. Like they think I am so hardworking, smart, intelligent, diligent, focused, and many more good stuff. This just feels so freaking weird because it’s like whyyyyyy and howwwwww? I literally don’t get it. Like, why do they think I am that person..
Honestly, I just lied to y’all! I actually get it. I get why they view me as that kind of person; it’s because that’s how I project myself to the outside world.
“Heyyy, pause a minute! I am smart, intelligent, and so much more! Just wanted to get that straight!”
As I was saying, I mean, I don’t want people to see the ugly and dirty because just like every human, I guess I am scared of vulnerability. I don’t just want to expose myself to everyone, you know. I don’t want them to see the person behind all the “perfection” or “inspiration” they all see. I don’t want to open myself, I’d rather be in secret- this is not a good habit, by the way.
I have realized that we all do this. Literally everyone! We don’t like showing people the vulnerable parts of us and believe it or not but this is mostly because of fear. We are really scared of different things and this fear we have holds us back whenever we want to show people that we are also struggling. I don’t even know whether to call this normal because it’s not normal, it’s just what we have turned to normal. This is the reality, y’all:(
For real, I am not doing alright. I have been so tired, so lost, and just so done. There, I said it! I just broke my fear of vulnerability(woww moment!!!!) Anyway, I have just been thinking about the future a lot; my future actually and things are not going so well in my head right now. The funny thing is that, I don’t even know the source of my tiredness and exhaustion, I just don’t even know..
You know that feeling of not knowing how you feel, that’s kinda me right now.. Also, when I was planning to write this post, I was so gingered because I knew what I was going to write but I started writing and everything just flew away from head. So, I am not even sure if this blogpost makes any sense at all but hopefully it does.
One more thing.. Although, I am feeling like this, I am really really trying to keep holding onto God because I know that no matter what, He’s got my back and will always do because He is a great God. God is so good, y’all. Like every time I just feel so down, God tells me that I should remember that He says in His Word that He’s got me forever. Fam, God is so amazing! No matter what you are going through right now, please remember that God promised to never leave his beloved(YOU) alone, so He is with you always and you have to always remember that!
Before I go, I need to share this Bible verse with y’all.
Isiah 41 vs 10, says, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”
Please always remember that verse and always read it to yourself every time so that it really sinks in. God loves you!! That’s all for today!
Um, also I have kinda been struggling with consistency, hence why I have not been posting regularly but I am working to get back on my grind. Thank you still for always reading. God bless you!
Hi y’all! How’re you doing? I really hope y’all are doing fine. For me, I’m okay, really. I’m just living, you know. It’s thanksgiving season though and there’s so much to be thankful for, all thanks to God. Alright, let’s move on..
So just one word, LAGOS!! Man, I can almost say that I’m in love with Nigeria, Lagos especially. Honestly, I have been looked at somehow and I’ve been abused/ridiculed because of how much I love Lagos or let’s just say Nigeria. People call me stupid and weird because I tell them that I’d rather be in Nigeria than be in America. They say that I’m not appreciative and that I don’t know a good thing. Well, I’m not really offended or bothered because I totally understand where they’re coming from.
You know, America is supposed to be our dream and our goal that we are supposed to work so freaking hard to achieve. This is really a backward way of thinking if you’d ask me. A lot of people don’t appreciate the country that they’re born into because it’s not America. Before anybody comes for me, yes I know that America might seem better than our home country but really, it’s all the same. America is just better packaged.
It’s really sad that people almost worship and glorify America. You see people that literally don’t try and work hard in the country that they are born in because they think America is really where they are supposed to be. Another disclaimer here, Yes, I know that there are a lot of people work so so hard in their home country but their efforts are always wasted because of how damaged their country is but you don’t stop trying though. Keep trying and keep doing your best and the Lord will bless the work of your hands. Amen!
Honestly, there’s really nothing special about America, we’ve just been made to believe that. Yes, I know America is nice and it’s full of “opportunities” but have you tried exploring where you are to discover the opportunities available to you there?? See, there are opportunities in every country, you just have to be wise with it and don’t give up; you have to keep searching. The thing is that a lot of people sef don’t try to make do with what they have and use it to their advantage. For real!
I never knew that some things were possible or even available in Nigeria because I never searched or even tried to explore my surroundings for different opportunities. I was always so jealous of Americans because I didn’t know that I could do so many things there in Nigeria. Nigeria is full of different people doing different amazing things, so just search and do your research and I know you’ll find something. This is not only for Nigeria though, it’s for everywhere. Opportunities are all around you, you just need to snatch them one by one!
Alright, let’s get back to Lagos now. Lagos is a really really amazing place. It’s really sad how people tend to focus on all the negative parts of a place to even know that they’re a lot of positive parts to that place. Yes, believe it or not, even though Lagos has a ton of negative parts, there are still a ton of positive parts. Before I go on about Lagos, let me show y’all some pictures. These pictures are why people hate on me when I say that I want to move to Lagos.
Let’s continue.. So, people don’t like Lagos because firstly, it’s not America🙄; secondly, it’s overcrowded; thirdly, it’s stressful and overwhelming. I understand that all of these are valid reasons, well except the first one. Lagos is overpopulated and there are so many different kinds of people there but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s a bad place. Also, Lagos life can be stressful and overwhelming because everyone in Lagos is looking for ways to make a living. Nigeria is the poverty capital of the world and most of these people are in Lagos. They’re in Lagos because Lagos is the place where a lot of opportunities are. People go to Lagos to make a life for themselves and all, so there are different types of people there. Man, if you’re not wise, you really can’t live in Lagos o because you’ll become so frustrated but let’s just leave that aside for now(I’ll talk about this in another post..).
So why am I so interested in Lagos? Why is Lagos where I really want to be? To me, Lagos is a source of motivation and Lagos is very inspiring. People intrigue me, so where’s the best place for people-watching if not Lagos. I just have this feeling inside of me that Lagos is where I would truly feel peace; like it’s where I’m supposed to be. I’m really not moved by America and all it’s fancy stuff; it’s nice but I really feel like I don’t belong here. Also, I really love the life in Lagos, the hustle and bustle, the persistence and zeal of the people, the beauty of the city that never sleeps. By the way, Lagos really means a lot to me. So, no Lagos slander is accepted on this blog. Also, I won’t say that I’m obsessed with Lagos, I’m just intrigued and fascinated by it.
That’s all for today y’all. Where is that place you really want to be? Where is that country, city, or state that you want to live in and you know that you would be at peace there? Let me know in the comments!
.p.s. I might end up not moving to Lagos but move to Ibadan instead . I don’t know yet sha..
Hello people! How’re y’all doing? I really hope things are going okay for you. And if things aren’t going really well for you right now, don’t forget to keep putting your trust in God. Also, remember that tough times never last but tough people do. You’ll be fine eventually even if it doesn’t seem like that now. I promise, if you keep fighting, you’ll be fine.
So, how am I? I am okay; like I’m doing alright. I’ve been so positive with everything that’s going on and I’m just thankful to God that I’m able to remain so positive even in times like this. By the way, school has also been going okay; it’s stressful but it’s worth it at the end. Anyhoo, let’s get into today’s post.
Before I really start, let me just tell y’all this thing about me; I don’t like celebrating my birthday. A lot of people think that I’m weird and very ungrateful to God because of this but that’s not the case. Of course, I really really appreciate God for another year in life but I don’t like all the shenanigans that people add to birthdays.
It’s like, first of all, my existence in life is something I’m still struggling with. This is because I have some serious issues going on; I’m just a very very complicated human. So because I’m still dealing with this, it just kinda makes me feel somehow when people start to call me and text me saying happy birthday. I also don’t really fancy myself like that(don’t get me wrong, I’m a baby girl but you know..), so it’s really weird when I see people posting my pictures everywhere on my birthday.
I’m also somebody that really likes and enjoys simplicity and minimalism. People do so much regarding birthdays and it just gets me feeling confused. I’m like, I don’t have to go out to eat or I don’t have to wear some special type of clothes or go to a studio and have a photoshoot. I personally think it’s all extra stuff but I’m not condemning the people that do this stuff. We all have our different opinions on things; everything I’m saying is just how I see birthdays from my own point of view.
Anyway, why did this topic come up today? I was talking to my youngest sister; I’m sure y’all already know about her because I mentioned her in a previous blogpost. Let’s continue with the story then. This particular day, she was very bored and she kept coming after me, trying to converse with me. I gave in because the disturbance was just too much. She started asking me different things about myself because she always wonders why I am the way I am😔.
So, she asks me, “Why don’t you like celebrating your birthday?” Well, I explained to her most of the things I just explained to y’all. She then challenged me and said, “Why don’t you want to appreciate God for making you; why don’t you want to celebrate the day that God brought you to this life?” Honestly, this really hit me different because I’ve never thought of it like that. I just had to keep shut after what she said. I was like, wow Bee, why are you so against your existence as a person?? I’m still thinking about it but that’s all I just wanted to share with y’all. Maybe when I finally and truly understand, I’ll come and talk to y’all about it.
What do y’all think about birthday celebrations? Do you like celebrating your birthday or no? Let me know in the comments. If you also have any questions or thoughts on today’s post, please leave a comment. Bye y’all 🙂🙂
Hi y’all! How’re you doing? How’s life going? I really hope everything is going okay with y’all. For me, I’ve been alright but I’ve been really stressed, not gonna lie. There’s so much happening in Africa currently and it’s all just so sad and angering. Sigh! Let’s just get into today’s post.
This post is really special because it was not planned. It’s completely spontaneous and it feels really good to write something without first planning it. Also, I wrote this post with my phone. This is something I’ve never really tried before and it feels good. To be honest, I think this post is the realest I’ve ever been on this blog. Let’s get into it:)
So, I have two sisters. They’re really amazing people and I really really love them. My sisters are blessings from God and I really thank God for their lives. I just pray that God continues to be with them and guides them through life in Jesus name. Amen!
Anyway, the night before, I just felt the need or the push to ask my youngest sister a question. She’s very smart, by the way. I asked her, “what’s one advice you would give me as you’re seeing me live my life?” I really don’t know why I asked her this particular question. I just felt led by the Holy Spirit to ask this particular question. Thanks to the Holy Spirit because my sister’s answer to this question really opened my eyes.
Well, she told me that I should be very careful with my future, regarding the profession I want to go into. I was confused and I asked her to tell me more. She then said that the reason why she gave that answer is so that I don’t end up having a future full of regret. I was really wowed because this is something I have been struggling with and I’ve been asking the Holy Spirit for help about.
I’ve been thinking about my future a lot. Trying to figure out what profession I really want to go into and what I want to study regarding education. I’ve been really confused and really lost because there is just so much going through my head regarding this topic.
One of those things going through my head is the words of my parents and their friends. From when I was very young, I’ve always been advised by my parents and their friends to go into medicine. It has gotten really annoying at this point but I totally understand them. They’re just really concerned about me and this is one of the many ways they’re showing that they love me. I understand that they want me to be totally secured in the future by getting into an amazing profession like “medicine ”. While I totally understand them, I can’t ignore myself. What about my own happiness and fulfillment? My parents don’t seem to think about that; I feel like they think that when money is there, all is well.
It is well sha. Thank God for revealing what He revealed to me through my sister. Things are a little clearer now. I’m just doing more research on different things and I keep communicating with God, asking Him for more help and guidance. A Bible verse that’s coming to my head right now and has been keeping me going is Psalm 46 vs 5a, “For God is within her, she will not fall”. God is with and within me, so I’m secured and I have nothing to worry about.
P.s. remember our talk on positivity😉(always try to be positive in every situation, whether bad, good, ugly, exciting, everything).
That’s all for today y’all. What are your thoughts and questions about today’s post? Do you also struggle with trying to know what you want to do in the future? Do you also have parents like mine? Tell me in the comments.
Hiiii y’all! How’re you doing? How’s your life going? I really hope things are going okay for you. For me, I’ve been alright. I’ve been busy with school and things are really going okay. We thank God for that. Let’s really just get into today’s post. It’s an interesting one🤗
You know, sometimes I really just think about why I started blogging. This is because blogging has a new meaning to me now. I view blogging differently now and it means much more to me now.
At first, I honestly really didn’t even think that I would become a blogger because I actually wasn’t really aware of blogging; I kinda knew about it but I really didn’t pay enough attention to it. I just really learned a lot more about blogging during the lockdown caused by the coronavirus. By learning more about it, I just knew that it’s something I want to do. Also, when I first started, I wasn’t really intentional with my blog because I was still figuring things out.
Anyway, my eyes are clearer now and I know much more about blogging. During the lockdown, I discovered the whole content creation thing on Instagram and from there, I began to see bloggers. I clicked on their blog thing and it brought me to their blog. I was very very intrigued because I really had never seen anything like that. It was fascinating how they were sharing their stories with their readers and how they were putting into words the things they loved the most.
I decided to do the same. Really, I think I had tried blogging a long time ago but I didn’t get it, so I just forgot about it. Moving on, I asked questions about blogging from people and from Google and I just started. My first blogpost was easy to write because I’m a writer already; I write for newspapers and magazines. Although the first blogpost was easy to write, it felt automated. It didn’t feel like me. It felt and kinda looked like an article for a newspaper. After that, I wrote another blogpost that also felt and looked like the first one. I saw that I didn’t like what I was doing with my blog and my writing, I then took a break. I used that break to teach myself that this is my blog; it’s my story(me), so I shouldn’t be scared to write freely.
In all, I became much more intentional about my writing. I started being me with my blog. I stopped focusing on writing to please my readers and I started focusing on writing what I want. It’s been really amazing so far and I’m really really pleased with how my blog is doing, all thanks to God. Blogging has become something I want to keep doing as I grow older. I really don’t want to stop blogging because I just really really like it. I pray that my love for blogging never dies in Jesus name. Amen!
By the way, there are really amazing bloggers out there. Sometimes I read someone’s blogpost and it just moves me, pushes me, and motivates me to do better with my blog. To be honest, most of the things I know about blogging, I learned from other bloggers who are very brave with sharing their stories. Some of my favorite bloggers are, Firi’s epiphany, Regina Adetipe , Sia in Style, That Lagos girl, and just a few more. You should totally check their blogs out; you’ll really love it.
That’s all for today y’all. In the comments, you can tell me about that thing that you discovered and now, you really love it. Or you can just leave a comment about your thoughts and questions about today’s post. Bye y’all
Hiiii y’all! How’re you doing?? How’s it going?? I really really hope things are going okay for and with y’all. If things aren’t really going well for you right now, pleaseeee don’t give up! If I’m still alive and still fighting, y’all can do it! Anyway, I’m pretty excited, if you can’t already tell from my tone. By the way, I’ve been alright. I just thank God for being alive. Ohkay, let’s just move into today’s post.
So, if you ask me, I would say that I am a pretty complicated person. There are so many different parts to me. In fact, I like to call myself weird because I just don’t like “normal” and I really just feel like I am wired differently. In summary, I am a unique person 😉😉. Anyway, enough of the self-questioning and explanation, let’s get into some pretty interesting things about me.
1. I’m Nigerian
If y’all didn’t already know, I really really take pride in my nationality. Although yes!, Nigeria has its bad parts, I still love it. Nigeria to me is home and it’s where true peace is at for me.
I know that with the resilience, bravery, and courage of the youths, Nigeria will become a much better place very soon. Nigeria is really beautiful and Nigerians are the most hardworking and strong people I know. Infact, all of my friends and family are Nigerians. Yayy for me😊😊
2. I’m in love with Jesus(best father and friend)
Jesus is sooooo freaking amazing. He fills me up with so much joy and He gives me a reason to live everyday. He’s the best thing that has ever happened to me and I’m so glad for the day I finally gave my life to Him.
He’s literally the best and He helps me to become a better version of myself everyday. He guides me and He helps me to know what to do and not do. He is my literal savior because without Him, my life would have probably ended by now😫.
3. I’m a total psychology and philosophy geek!!
I am a very deep person who loves questioning different things about humans and life. I am literally in love with understanding and examining the connection between people and their emotions. I love to study how our emotions affect us as humans and play a role in everything we do.
I also love questioning life itself. I think so much about life and the true meaning of life. It’s all so intriguing to me. I really hope to write so many research papers someday on these two topics. By the way, I am more of a psychology geek than I am a philosophy geek.
4. I really love people-watching
People intrigue and fascinate me. Their looks, actions, their words, and the way they think. I love to look at people deeply and understand the different parts there is to them.
Humans are a very interesting subject and you will be shocked by how much you can find out by just looking at someone so deeply. Outward appearances of people don’t really interest me like that, I am much more interested in what they hold inside, and their thoughts. It’s all so beautiful to me. I just love it🙃😃
5. I’m in love with African literature, classic fictions, and historical fiction books
Reading is something I love doing so much. Reading really improves the way I think and see things. Reading also exposes me to different kinds of issues and it allows me to experience life in so many different perspectives. Through reading, I’m able to explore and get out of my head. I feel excited and at peace when I read. Let’s just say that reading is like therapy and it keeps me going.
I really really love African literature. Africa is just so attractive to me and I really love every country despite their flaws. I love how African writers write because their writing style is just so unique and their writing is so relatable and exposing at the same time. I love classic and historical fiction because they can be very educative and I learn a lot from these books. They open my eyes to different worlds and different things. Books are just the literal best😫🤗.
6. I’m a very dedicated poetry lover
Poetry is one of the best things in the world. I love poets because they’re so freaking brave. They’re very brave in the sense that they’re able to express their emotions and they are also able to express their views on so many different things. I have found love in poem writing because it is my best way of letting it all out.
When I write my poems, I feel really good and I feel very brave. I also feel very confident whenever I write my poems because I’m being myself and I’m not hiding myself in a hole. Poetry is amazing and I totally recommend reading poems to y’all because they’re just so beautiful, stupefying, and soo welcoming. Poetry really embraced me and it gives me the motivation to keep going🙂🤩.
7. I admire people who are not scared of being different and standing out
It really just amazes me when I see someone who is not scared of speaking up about something. I love it when someone is okay with being called weird and they don’t really care about it even when they are just being themselves. I love it when people don’t follow the norm and keep quiet whenever they see something appalling.
That’s one reason why I love Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie because through her writing you would see that she is fearless. She’s not scared about writing on all the vices in the African society. She’s not scared of being different; she is not being quiet, and she’s very bold. That’s also one reason why I love speaking up on different topics. Whenever I see or hear something that is just so somehow, I try to talk about it some way because that’s how people learn and become aware of the things happening around them.
8. One of the most important things to me is being myself and I really hate lies
Being myself is one of the most amazing things I can do for myself. I know I’m not the best person in the world but I’m in the middle of growth; I’m growing. Even though I’m not the best version of myself yet, I don’t mind being the real me because that’s how I learn. Also being me is very liberating and I’m not chained down by other people’s opinions. If I try to be someone that I’m not, it feels like I’m in a box and I’m living a lie that could get exposed in just any minute.
Also, I really don’t like lies and dishonesty. Lying is a sin and lying also just slowly shapes you into a fake version of yourself. After one lie, it gets so much easier to lie more and then you just get caught up in a fake reality. It’s pathetic and disheartening, really.
9. I love being there for other people and I really love being of help to others
Yes, I know I can’t fix everyone but I’ll like to try. There are just so many people in the world who are broken and are cut so deeply that they are hiding in the shadow of their wounds. There are so many people who just need someone to be there for them, someone to listen to them and hold them.
I just really want to be there for as many people as I can because mental and emotional health are things I take so seriously. On that note, y’all can always reach out to me anytime if you’re going through something and you just need someone to be there for you. Also, y’all should always know that I’m here and I’m rooting for y’all always 🤗🤗.
10. I actually really like Instagram and I find it fascinating
Instagram is like a place for me to vent and to get my mind off things. You know, I feel like a lot of people think I’m on Instagram too much but y’all just don’t understand. Instagram is also a way for me to reach out to people who are going through different things.
It’s a way for me to be there for people. It’s a way for me to laugh and just get my mind off my troubles and worries. It’s a way for me to learn and be educated. It’s a way for me to see different opportunities and get my eyes open. It’s also a way to observe people. It’s a very big win for me! By the way, I also try to get off sometimes and just dive back into reality, you know. It’s all fun stuff😀😀.
These are some things about me. Of course, there are still so many different facts about me; later in the future, I’ll write more blogposts about it. I hope you guys now know who I am a little bit. I was so excited to share a bit more about myself here on my blog.
Let me know in the comments if we have any similar qualities. Also, introduce yourself to me in the comments and tell me any interesting thing about you. I’m always so glad to read y’all’s comments. Bye y’all!
Hi y’all! How are you doing? How has your week been so far? For me, I have been really stressed and some things aren’t really going well. I have a lot of things going well but there are still a lot of things not going well. Anyway, my trust remains in God. Tribulations will come but because I have God, I shouldn’t fear because He has overcome the world for me. God is good y’all. By the way, today’s post is me being very real and very honest. Let’s just get into it.
Friendship has always been a struggle for me. Well, it didn’t start being a struggle until I moved to America; that’s when it all changed. To be honest, moving to America is one thing that has really really affected my life till now. My life just turned around, both in good and bad ways- you can read about it in my blogpost “What I went through moving from Nigeria to America”.
After I first moved to America, I became a very very shy person who has lost all her confidence. America is so different because it’s not only black people here, it’s a combination of all types of people. I was not used to that; I was used to being surrounded by black people and I wasn’t even aware of my blackness. To cut the long story short, the school I first attended when I got to America didn’t have a lot of black kids and the area I live in is a white-dominated area. It was really difficult for me to be myself because I just couldn’t relate to the people around me.
Since I lost my confidence, it was really really hard for me to make friends, infact I didn’t make any friends. I was alone and even though, it made me feel really somehow, I was comforted because I always thought that I had friends in Nigeria. The “friends in Nigeria” thing is like another story of its own. I’ll just tell y’all the summary of it.
I just realized that there are really no friends in Nigeria anywhere. Although I had a lot of friends in Nigeria when I was still there, I didn’t realize that they would all have moved on with their lives(**stops writing here and cleans imaginary tears**). Even the person I called best friend had gotten another best friend and I looked like a big fool still calling her my best friend. Anyway, it’s fine and I don’t blame any of them because it’s kinda selfish for me to expect them to put their lives on hold. They have their lives to live and they can’t put it on hold because of me.
By the way, these “friends in Nigeria” still text me but there’s really no connection there anymore for most of them. Yes, we all talk and text sometimes but it doesn’t feel like before anymore when we were all really close. Long story short, I am kinda “friendless” right now and I lowkey love it. Okay, “friendless’ might be too strong and too harsh. Yeah but according to my own definition of friendship, I really am kinda friendless right now. Also, a lot of people would say that I’m not friendless but I feel friendless(argue with your phones 😂). Anyway, I am able to focus more on myself and do a lot of things that I want to do. I think that’s better for me, right?
Also, I recently had an experience with someone who wanted to be my “friend”. He is a really nice person but it’s just that I feel like I don’t even know how to be a friend anymore. I don’t even entertain friendships anymore because I just think I am not cut out for friendship. I guess that’s fine because I am thriving on my own and I am doing really fine being by myself(*lies but let’s just leave it alone*).
In all, truth is that friendships now confuse me because I’ve seen that people seem to get too attached easily. I am not the best with that, so I don’t know how to deal with a “friend”. Man, I really don’t know. It is well sha. I have God with me. By the way, I really am fine. Please don’t comment “sorry” or anything like that.
Just let me know what you think about friendship in the comment. Do you think you are cut out for friendship? Are you like me when it comes to friendship? Let me know your thoughts in the comments. Don’t be scared or shy to leave a comment, this is a judgment-free zone.
Just look at this picture; see how nice the set-up is. That’s all for today y’all. Bye:) Don’t forget to leave a comment!