I am soo stuck, tired, and exhausted..| Midnight struggles..

Hi y’all! How are you doing? I really hope you are doing alright:) If you really are not doing okay right now or you feel so lost and tired, I just want to tell you to please try to keep your head up! Sometimes, life just doesn’t feel great but I want you to tryyyy and keep moving and just please remember that no matter what’s happening to you currently, you will be fine eventually; even when it doesn’t feel like you’ll be fine, you’ll be, I promise and that’s because God says so! Please keep going🤍

So how am I doing? I guess from the title, you already kinda know how I am doing. Yeah, life is not going so great for me right now. I am just so all over, everywhere and I honestly don’t know how I really feel. I guess I just kinda feel lost somewhat but I am living. I am really trying to keep my head up and I am just going because I know that God definitely got me, so I will be alright!

Alright, let’s move onnn..

You know, today I was just thinking of how people see me from the outside. From what people tell me, and have told me, people see me as “perfect” from the outside. Like they think I am so hardworking, smart, intelligent, diligent, focused, and many more good stuff. This just feels so freaking weird because it’s like whyyyyyy and howwwwww? I literally don’t get it. Like, why do they think I am that person..

Honestly, I just lied to y’all! I actually get it. I get why they view me as that kind of person; it’s because that’s how I project myself to the outside world.

Heyyy, pause a minute! I am smart, intelligent, and so much more! Just wanted to get that straight!”

As I was saying, I mean, I don’t want people to see the ugly and dirty because just like every human, I guess I am scared of vulnerability. I don’t just want to expose myself to everyone, you know. I don’t want them to see the person behind all the “perfection” or “inspiration” they all see. I don’t want to open myself, I’d rather be in secret- this is not a good habit, by the way.

I have realized that we all do this. Literally everyone! We don’t like showing people the vulnerable parts of us and believe it or not but this is mostly because of fear. We are really scared of different things and this fear we have holds us back whenever we want to show people that we are also struggling. I don’t even know whether to call this normal because it’s not normal, it’s just what we have turned to normal. This is the reality, y’all:(

For real, I am not doing alright. I have been so tired, so lost, and just so done. There, I said it! I just broke my fear of vulnerability(woww moment!!!!) Anyway, I have just been thinking about the future a lot; my future actually and things are not going so well in my head right now. The funny thing is that, I don’t even know the source of my tiredness and exhaustion, I just don’t even know..

You know that feeling of not knowing how you feel, that’s kinda me right now.. Also, when I was planning to write this post, I was so gingered because I knew what I was going to write but I started writing and everything just flew away from head. So, I am not even sure if this blogpost makes any sense at all but hopefully it does.


One more thing.. Although, I am feeling like this, I am really really trying to keep holding onto God because I know that no matter what, He’s got my back and will always do because He is a great God. God is so good, y’all. Like every time I just feel so down, God tells me that I should remember that He says in His Word that He’s got me forever. Fam, God is so amazing! No matter what you are going through right now, please remember that God promised to never leave his beloved(YOU) alone, so He is with you always and you have to always remember that!

Before I go, I need to share this Bible verse with y’all.

Isiah 41 vs 10, says, “So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”

Please always remember that verse and always read it to yourself every time so that it really sinks in. God loves you!! That’s all for today!

Remember, our help comes from God! So, no matter what you’re going through, you’ll be okay!

Um, also I have kinda been struggling with consistency, hence why I have not been posting regularly but I am working to get back on my grind. Thank you still for always reading. God bless you!

Love you all always🤗🤗

Where do I really want to be| my “obsession” with Lagos?

Hi y’all! How’re you doing? I really hope y’all are doing fine. For me, I’m okay, really. I’m just living, you know. It’s thanksgiving season though and there’s so much to be thankful for, all thanks to God. Alright, let’s move on..

So just one word, LAGOS!! Man, I can almost say that I’m in love with Nigeria, Lagos especially. Honestly, I have been looked at somehow and I’ve been abused/ridiculed because of how much I love Lagos or let’s just say Nigeria. People call me stupid and weird because I tell them that I’d rather be in Nigeria than be in America. They say that I’m not appreciative and that I don’t know a good thing. Well, I’m not really offended or bothered because I totally understand where they’re coming from.

You know, America is supposed to be our dream and our goal that we are supposed to work so freaking hard to achieve. This is really a backward way of thinking if you’d ask me. A lot of people don’t appreciate the country that they’re born into because it’s not America. Before anybody comes for me, yes I know that America might seem better than our home country but really, it’s all the same. America is just better packaged.

It’s really sad that people almost worship and glorify America. You see people that literally don’t try and work hard in the country that they are born in because they think America is really where they are supposed to be. Another disclaimer here, Yes, I know that there are a lot of people work so so hard in their home country but their efforts are always wasted because of how damaged their country is but you don’t stop trying though. Keep trying and keep doing your best and the Lord will bless the work of your hands. Amen!

Honestly, there’s really nothing special about America, we’ve just been made to believe that. Yes, I know America is nice and it’s full of “opportunities” but have you tried exploring where you are to discover the opportunities available to you there?? See, there are opportunities in every country, you just have to be wise with it and don’t give up; you have to keep searching. The thing is that a lot of people sef don’t try to make do with what they have and use it to their advantage. For real!

I never knew that some things were possible or even available in Nigeria because I never searched or even tried to explore my surroundings for different opportunities. I was always so jealous of Americans because I didn’t know that I could do so many things there in Nigeria. Nigeria is full of different people doing different amazing things, so just search and do your research and I know you’ll find something. This is not only for Nigeria though, it’s for everywhere. Opportunities are all around you, you just need to snatch them one by one!

Alright, let’s get back to Lagos now. Lagos is a really really amazing place. It’s really sad how people tend to focus on all the negative parts of a place to even know that they’re a lot of positive parts to that place. Yes, believe it or not, even though Lagos has a ton of negative parts, there are still a ton of positive parts. Before I go on about Lagos, let me show y’all some pictures. These pictures are why people hate on me when I say that I want to move to Lagos.

Image number one. This is Makoko, a town built on water. I guess I put this picture because one of the reasons why people attack me is because they say the living conditions in Lagos are not the best. Yeah yeah but Lagos also has some of the best architectural buildings in Africa.
Image number two. Just focus on how much people there are in this photo; overpopulation is also why people attack me for liking Lagos. Lagos just like New York is overpopulated..

Let’s continue.. So, people don’t like Lagos because firstly, it’s not America🙄; secondly, it’s overcrowded; thirdly, it’s stressful and overwhelming. I understand that all of these are valid reasons, well except the first one. Lagos is overpopulated and there are so many different kinds of people there but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s a bad place. Also, Lagos life can be stressful and overwhelming because everyone in Lagos is looking for ways to make a living. Nigeria is the poverty capital of the world and most of these people are in Lagos. They’re in Lagos because Lagos is the place where a lot of opportunities are. People go to Lagos to make a life for themselves and all, so there are different types of people there. Man, if you’re not wise, you really can’t live in Lagos o because you’ll become so frustrated but let’s just leave that aside for now(I’ll talk about this in another post..).

So why am I so interested in Lagos? Why is Lagos where I really want to be? To me, Lagos is a source of motivation and Lagos is very inspiring. People intrigue me, so where’s the best place for people-watching if not Lagos. I just have this feeling inside of me that Lagos is where I would truly feel peace; like it’s where I’m supposed to be. I’m really not moved by America and all it’s fancy stuff; it’s nice but I really feel like I don’t belong here. Also, I really love the life in Lagos, the hustle and bustle, the persistence and zeal of the people, the beauty of the city that never sleeps. By the way, Lagos really means a lot to me. So, no Lagos slander is accepted on this blog. Also, I won’t say that I’m obsessed with Lagos, I’m just intrigued and fascinated by it.

That’s all for today y’all. Where is that place you really want to be? Where is that country, city, or state that you want to live in and you know that you would be at peace there? Let me know in the comments!

.p.s. I might end up not moving to Lagos but move to Ibadan instead . I don’t know yet sha..