Beautiful Boy(a poem)

My beautiful beautiful boy

My boy with eyes so brown, they remind me of earth, of life, of hope, of being

My boy with hair so curly, they remind me of waves, of water, of joy, of freedom

My boy with very sad eyes and very thin body

My boy who is so lost and helpless

My boy who is too sick, tired, and in pain

My boy who I try to help but can’t

My boy that brings a smile to my face every time he smiles

My boy who rarely smiles these days and holds so much pain in his eyes

My boy who pushes me away because he doesn’t know he needs help

My beautiful boy who is alive but has been dead for a while now

My beautiful beautiful boy who I don’t know how to help anymore.


hi! How’re you? I hope you’re doing okay! If you’re not, I pray that God will calm you and visit you. Amen!

Here’s another poem from me because why not!

I’ll see y’all later. Thank you for reading!

bye once again.

*don’t forget that God loves you forever and that whatever you’re going through right now, with God by your side always, you’ll get through it.

Poetry(a poem)

Poetry is more than ink on paper

It’s more than complex words and simple meanings

It’s the wool that wraps around me in the cold

It’s the tears that warm up my eyes in the dark

It’s the smile I hold back when I laugh

It’s the love that doesn’t feel draining

It’s the socks that keep my feet warm at night

It’s the bitterness in the coffee that I punish myself with

It’s the eyes that look back at me in the mirror

It’s the voices that seem deafening in my head

It’s the choices that I have to make

It’s the feelings I don’t want to feel

It’s the song that keeps playing over and over in my head

It’s the monsters that I feel under my bed

It’s the thoughts I don’t want to think

It’s the anger that I suppress down with a laugh

It’s the sadness I wash away with wine

It’s the eye bags that never leave my face

It’s the stripes that mark my body

It’s the scars imprinted in my being

It’s the folds that form when I’m me

It’s the good and bad and all in between

It’s the escape that reality is afraid of

Surely, poetry is more than ink on paper

It’s more than complex words and simple meanings.


Hi! How’re you?? I really hope you’re doing alright!

I just wanted to write something and that’s it. Thanks for reading..

byee y’all

*don’t forget that God loves you forever and that you’re strong, beautiful, talented, and all the good things in the world.

Sometimes, I feel so scared and guilty to be happy and you might feel it too..

hi y’all! How are you doing? I really hope you’re doing okay! If you are not, please don’t stop trusting in God and please keep trying to keep your head up high. Everything will be okay very soon and you will feel amazing very soon; keep being patient and keep trusting God:)

How am I doing? I am doing okay! I have a ton of assignments to do but I feel great anyway. I have been watching a lot of YouTube as well. Okkie, that’s all about me:)

Let’s move into today’s topic; it’s a very interesting one..

I just had an incident in the train, where I was playing a game on my mum’s phone with my sister. We were playing the “Word Search” game and we were trying to find all the words on time. It got to one word that I found but she decided to lie and say that she found it; anyway, fast forward to the end of the story, we were both trying to see who would click the word first and we burst in laughter, playing and smiling. Then and there, it did not feel like anything, I was just trying to be the first one to hit the word.

When I got to the house, after a while, I started thinking about it and I was just feeling very bad about it. I was thinking of the other people in the train and how they might have felt about it, seeing two people all smiley and playing together. I was thinking that what if there was someone in that train who had a very bad relationship with their sibling or lost a sibling or even didn’t have any sibling. I was just thinking of all these and I felt very guilty. I felt so guilty to be”happy” and to just even smile in public.

Tell you what, this is not the first time this has happened to me. I always feel so scared to smile in public or to even show a bit of happiness in public because I am constantly thinking of the people who have it so bad in their lives; the people who can’t even smile and feel like they don’t have a reason to smile. I think about it all the time and then I feel so so guilty.

I know it isn’t just me who feels this and experiences this because TikTok has taught me that whatever you are feeling or going through, someone else has gone through it or is going through it. So yeah, I know I am not alone on this, so I decided to write about it here on this blog.

Honestly, I have just a piece of advice for anyone who feels this and myself too.

You cannot make everyone happy and everyone probably wouldn’t be happy. You can do your best and be kind to everyone and try to bring smiles to peoples’ faces but you really cannot control everyone’s happiness. So, you need to stop feeling guilty for being happy; your happiness is a big deal and it’s beautiful. Stop feeling scared to be happy just because there are people out there who are not happy. Stop it and be happy, go after your happiness and smile often because it’s great.

Smile, celebrate yourself, your family, your friends because we don’t really know when we are going to die. So, be happy and chase after your happiness in a godly manner.

For the sad people out there in the world, who are going through IT, pray for them always. Pray for them and talk to God about them. Pray that they find happiness too. Pray that they smile one day, and keep smiling.

Also, try your best to be kind to everyone! While you cannot control everyone’s happiness, you can always bring a smile to one or two peoples’ faces. So, don’t be mean! Be kind always and show love to everyone!

Remember, being happy is not something to feel guilty about! Your happiness is important and it’s a big deal.


That’s all for today y’all.

thank you for reading!!

Please feel free to leave a comment sharing your experiences or just say something nice!

Photo by Sid Ali on Pexels.com

Enjoy this lovely photo of London!

bye y’all!

*don’t forget that God loves you forever and don’t forget to always be kind.

A mini life update + podcast re-branding + YouTube channel

Hello everyone! How are you doing?! I hope you are staying safe and trying to keep your head up high! If you are not doing okay, please do not stop trusting God and keep trying to be positive. All will be okay, even when it really does not seem like that!

It really feels like it has been a while since I have been on here and I feel very bad about that. A lot has happened though and I removed all my followers here on the blog- this was an okay decision, by the way. I honestly kind of want to start again and start afresh-like a new beginning. I am also thinking of a new name for the blog. So yeah, that is what is up with the blog.

How am I really doing?! No worries, I will be talking about it a little bit here.

Mini life update

Okay, so, I have not really been okay which explains my absence here on the blog. This year has been a lot on me but my trust remains in God and I know that everything will be okay. Yeah, so I took a halt on my blog and podcast for the majority of January and I recently came back at the end of January. I honestly do not want to give up, so here I am fighting to keep going despite everything I am going through.

I have had a lot of bad days this year and it has been very not nice because whenever I go through that kind of day, I really don’t want to get out of bed and I just want to sit alone in a dark room. It’s not nice at all but I am fighting and trying to keep my head up high and to keep being positive; it has not been easy but I just have to keep fighting for myself, you know. That’s the life update:))

Podcast Re-branding

Alright, about my podcast re-branding that I told you all about some time ago, it’s been a mess. Due to all I am going through, I honestly took a halt there too. Although most of the work has already been done, I still have to catch up all the posts from the old Instagram page on the new Instagram page and that really is all that is left. This is not even hard to do, I have just not been able to get myself to do it but I will take it one thing at a time, and by the end of February, hopefully I will be done.

By the way, if you do not already know about this, I have a podcast called, “Talkative and Christian”. It is a podcast that is majorly about self-improvement, raising awareness on different controversial issues, and faith(Christianity). If you are interested, you can go to anchor.fm/talkativeandchristian. Thank you!

YouTube channel

I have a YouTube channel! It’s called “Barakat Jay” on YouTube. You can go check out my YouTube channel if you would like and while you are there, please subscribe and watch the videos. Thank you!

This is something I am really excited about and I hope it really works out amazingly well:))

Well, that is all for today’s post. I just wanted to update you all and get back on here to start writing again. As always, thank you for your support, I really appreciate it.

You can leave a comment, introducing yourself to me! I want to know more about my readers! Also, tell me how you are really doing in the comments.

I will see you all later! Byee!!

Don’t forget that God loves you forever and that you are never alone:))

Why did I start blogging??- what does blogging mean to me..

Hiiii y’all! How’re you doing? How’s your life going? I really hope things are going okay for you. For me, I’ve been alright. I’ve been busy with school and things are really going okay. We thank God for that. Let’s really just get into today’s post. It’s an interesting one🤗

You know, sometimes I really just think about why I started blogging. This is because blogging has a new meaning to me now. I view blogging differently now and it means much more to me now.

At first, I honestly really didn’t even think that I would become a blogger because I actually wasn’t really aware of blogging; I kinda knew about it but I really didn’t pay enough attention to it. I just really learned a lot more about blogging during the lockdown caused by the coronavirus. By learning more about it, I just knew that it’s something I want to do. Also, when I first started, I wasn’t really intentional with my blog because I was still figuring things out.

Anyway, my eyes are clearer now and I know much more about blogging. During the lockdown, I discovered the whole content creation thing on Instagram and from there, I began to see bloggers. I clicked on their blog thing and it brought me to their blog. I was very very intrigued because I really had never seen anything like that. It was fascinating how they were sharing their stories with their readers and how they were putting into words the things they loved the most.

I decided to do the same. Really, I think I had tried blogging a long time ago but I didn’t get it, so I just forgot about it. Moving on, I asked questions about blogging from people and from Google and I just started. My first blogpost was easy to write because I’m a writer already; I write for newspapers and magazines. Although the first blogpost was easy to write, it felt automated. It didn’t feel like me. It felt and kinda looked like an article for a newspaper. After that, I wrote another blogpost that also felt and looked like the first one. I saw that I didn’t like what I was doing with my blog and my writing, I then took a break. I used that break to teach myself that this is my blog; it’s my story(me), so I shouldn’t be scared to write freely.

In all, I became much more intentional about my writing. I started being me with my blog. I stopped focusing on writing to please my readers and I started focusing on writing what I want. It’s been really amazing so far and I’m really really pleased with how my blog is doing, all thanks to God. Blogging has become something I want to keep doing as I grow older. I really don’t want to stop blogging because I just really really like it. I pray that my love for blogging never dies in Jesus name. Amen!

By the way, there are really amazing bloggers out there. Sometimes I read someone’s blogpost and it just moves me, pushes me, and motivates me to do better with my blog. To be honest, most of the things I know about blogging, I learned from other bloggers who are very brave with sharing their stories. Some of my favorite bloggers are, Firi’s epiphany, Regina Adetipe , Sia in Style, That Lagos girl, and just a few more. You should totally check their blogs out; you’ll really love it.

That’s all for today y’all. In the comments, you can tell me about that thing that you discovered and now, you really love it. Or you can just leave a comment about your thoughts and questions about today’s post. Bye y’all

This is a poem I wrote not long ago. It doesn’t really relate to today’s topic but I just wanted to share it with y’all.