“A friend in need is a friend indeed”-maybe I am just not cut out for friendships…

Hi y’all! How are you doing? How has your week been so far? For me, I have been really stressed and some things aren’t really going well. I have a lot of things going well but there are still a lot of things not going well. Anyway, my trust remains in God. Tribulations will come but because I have God, I shouldn’t fear because He has overcome the world for me. God is good y’all. By the way, today’s post is me being very real and very honest. Let’s just get into it.

Friendship has always been a struggle for me. Well, it didn’t start being a struggle until I moved to America; that’s when it all changed. To be honest, moving to America is one thing that has really really affected my life till now. My life just turned around, both in good and bad ways- you can read about it in my blogpost “What I went through moving from Nigeria to America”.

After I first moved to America, I became a very very shy person who has lost all her confidence. America is so different because it’s not only black people here, it’s a combination of all types of people. I was not used to that; I was used to being surrounded by black people and I wasn’t even aware of my blackness. To cut the long story short, the school I first attended when I got to America didn’t have a lot of black kids and the area I live in is a white-dominated area. It was really difficult for me to be myself because I just couldn’t relate to the people around me.

Since I lost my confidence, it was really really hard for me to make friends, infact I didn’t make any friends. I was alone and even though, it made me feel really somehow, I was comforted because I always thought that I had friends in Nigeria. The “friends in Nigeria” thing is like another story of its own. I’ll just tell y’all the summary of it.

I just realized that there are really no friends in Nigeria anywhere. Although I had a lot of friends in Nigeria when I was still there, I didn’t realize that they would all have moved on with their lives(**stops writing here and cleans imaginary tears**). Even the person I called best friend had gotten another best friend and I looked like a big fool still calling her my best friend. Anyway, it’s fine and I don’t blame any of them because it’s kinda selfish for me to expect them to put their lives on hold. They have their lives to live and they can’t put it on hold because of me.

By the way, these “friends in Nigeria” still text me but there’s really no connection there anymore for most of them. Yes, we all talk and text sometimes but it doesn’t feel like before anymore when we were all really close. Long story short, I am kinda “friendless” right now and I lowkey love it. Okay, “friendless’ might be too strong and too harsh. Yeah but according to my own definition of friendship, I really am kinda friendless right now. Also, a lot of people would say that I’m not friendless but I feel friendless(argue with your phones 😂). Anyway, I am able to focus more on myself and do a lot of things that I want to do. I think that’s better for me, right?

Also, I recently had an experience with someone who wanted to be my “friend”. He is a really nice person but it’s just that I feel like I don’t even know how to be a friend anymore. I don’t even entertain friendships anymore because I just think I am not cut out for friendship. I guess that’s fine because I am thriving on my own and I am doing really fine being by myself(*lies but let’s just leave it alone*).

In all, truth is that friendships now confuse me because I’ve seen that people seem to get too attached easily. I am not the best with that, so I don’t know how to deal with a “friend”. Man, I really don’t know. It is well sha. I have God with me. By the way, I really am fine. Please don’t comment “sorry” or anything like that.

Just let me know what you think about friendship in the comment. Do you think you are cut out for friendship? Are you like me when it comes to friendship? Let me know your thoughts in the comments. Don’t be scared or shy to leave a comment, this is a judgment-free zone.

Photo by Emre Can on Pexels.com

Just look at this picture; see how nice the set-up is. That’s all for today y’all. Bye:) Don’t forget to leave a comment!

“Attachments”|why do people get attached too easily?..

Hello people! How are y’all doing? I really hope y’all are fine. For me, I have been okay. There’s nothing really interesting going on for me. I have just been trying to take a break from Instagram and WhatsApp. It’s not really easy but I’m doing really good so far. Prayerfully, I am able to stay off these apps till the end of October. Anyway, let’s get into today’s post.

I am just going to start off by telling you guys about this story. I remember when I went for a Model U.N ‘competition’ from school. I partnered with this very outgoing and cheery girl; for Model U.N, it’s better if you are in partners. So, this girl kept going around talking to the other people there; there were a lot of students from different countries there. She was asking for almost everyone’s numbers and taking pictures with them. Throughout the whole thing(it was for three days), she just kept trying to make friends whilst still doing the work. I was just wowed and kinda annoyed because I thought it was all very unnecessary.

For me, I came there for an event/competition. I just wanted to do the thing, win, and get out of there. I really didn’t get the point of making friends with people you’ll probably never see again. One thing about me is that I really try to not get too attached to people. If I collected all those peoples’ numbers, I probably won’t even text them again, so what was the point of getting attached? I really don’t get it.

This whole attachment thing is also the reason why I don’t make friends anymore and I don’t accept friend requests. Like I just don’t like it when people are too close and all up in my business. I really don’t get people, to be honest. How can you just meet someone and you are already all up in their business, texting them everyday, and calling them every time. People truly confuse me. Another thing I really don’t get is those people on social media who dm you trying to be friends. I’m like, how do you ask someone to be your friend when you only just saw them on social media?? I feel like a lot of people don’t care but for me, I really care because it just makes no sense to me. I really don’t want unnecessary friendship. Sorry not sorry y’all(this is so mean😭).

I am not really good with friendship, so the people who are trying to make me their friend are really just disturbing themselves. Friendship for me has just become really weird and confusing over the years( y’all don’t worry, I have a blogpost about this coming up very soon).

So, I want to know what y’all think about attachments. Why do y’all think people get attached too easily? What do you think of the people who get too attached too easily? Do you think getting attached too easily is a good or bad thing? Let me know in the comments.

Photo by Oliver Sju00f6stru00f6m on Pexels.com

I really just like this picture. Bye y’all:) Don’t forget to leave a comment!

My experience with relationships-what I also think about relationships…

Hi y’all. I really hope y’all are doing fine. Like I said in the blogpost before this, school already started for me. It has been okay so far. I am being really positive about it and I am just putting it all in God’s hands. An advice for y’all is that you should always try to be positive with everything and do not forget to have complete faith in God. Anyways, today’s post is filled with so much gist. So, just keep reading!

I have actually been thinking a lot about relationships, especially now that almost everyone around me is involved in a relationship. Since it has been on my mind a lot, I made a podcast episode about it, and now I am getting deeper about it here on my blog. By the way, if you’ve not yet listened to that episode on my podcast and you will like to listen, go to anchor.fm/ctamwithbee

First, let me just share my experience with the whole dating/relationship thing. I really have never dated anyone and I don’t plan on doing that anytime soon. Well, I was asked out once by this guy but I said no. Honestly, thank God for my life because if not for God, I would have said yes and just gotten into a mess. I really don’t joke with this relationship thing, although I feel like a lot of people do. I feel like a lot of people don’t really understand what a relationship is and they just jump into it.

A relationship isn’t a bad thing but I think that a lot of people get into it at the wrong time. For me, I believe that getting into something at the wrong time would lead to that thing not ending well. I really am not an expert on this whole relationship thing by the way, so, I don’t really know a lot. For me, I also think that a lot of people get into relationships due to peer pressure. They see their friends getting into relationships, and then they get pressured to get into a relationship as well. People really need to realize that God’s timing is the best, so it is important to wait on God before getting into anything or before making any decisions.

Lately, I have been feeling pressured regarding this whole relationship thing but God is telling me to be patient. Also, I have so many other important things now that need a lot of my focus and attention. I know my priorities, so I am being really careful, mindful, and patient. The lesson from today’s blogpost is patience and consulting God before making any decisions.

A lot of people fail to be patient and then they get into something that ends up being disastrous. Like I said in my podcast episode about relationships, “you know when you are ready and when you are not ready”. A lot of people are not ready at all, yet they are venturing into a romantic relationship. Also, always ask God before making any decisions. I am pretty sure most of the people rushing into romantic relationships now did not ask God first. Please remember to always put God first in everything!! I pray that God guides us and gives us the spirit of patience in Jesus name. Amen!

So, in case you are unaware, the ‘relationship’ I am talking about in this blogpost is romantic relationships. Anyway, please leave a comment on your opinion on relationships or maybe you can just drop relationship advice in the comment; anything that relates to today’s post. Don’t be scared or shy to drop a comment, this is a judgment-free zone.

That’s all for today. Bye y’all:)

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

I almost forgot to drop a picture today. So here it is:) Bye!

Growing up is really not easy..(mood=stressed!!)

Hello Hello! How are you doing? How is life going for you?? For me, I have been really stressed but God is taking control. So much stuff is happening and I am freaking lost but in all, we give God the glory! Today’s post is going to be honest and really realistic because I cannot can anymore(if you get). Anyway, let’s just go on to today’s post.

Honestly, we don’t talk about growing up as much as we need to. This is because there’s so much stuff you need to learn as you grow up. There are a lot of responsibilities that come as you grow up. There are so many things you need to know and be aware of as you grow up. Like, you start thinking about preparing for the future, in regards to job, education, and so many other things. It’s like, you quickly need to figure out what you would like to do in the future because if you don’t do that, then you would be slowed down.

For me right now, I have really never felt so lost before. Like, there are so many things to prepare for for the future. There are so many exams I have to study for, just so that my future would be a good one. There are also so many things that I don’t know about and I need to know about, like taxes, investing, knowing what I want to become in the future, my plans regarding my education, getting a job, making money.

For the first time in my life, I feel like school doesn’t teach us enough and our parents don’t prepare us enough for the future. It’s like, why doesn’t school teach us about finances? As we grow up, we need to start making decisions regarding finances but a lot of us don’t even know what to do. As we grow up, we need to already know about our taxes, investing money, saving money, and more like that but most of us don’t even know how to do any of those things. I am an example of one of those people who doesn’t know how to do all of those things. It’s tiring, really.

Also, most of our parents really need to do better. Parents are supposed to help their children grow and help them prepare for the future but most parents don’t do that. They are more invested in choosing their children’s career and life path for them. It is very wrong for goodness sake. Yes, I know that our parents have their own responsibilities but they need to also put their children on top of things. It’s like, our parents pay taxes, so they know about taxing; why don’t they teach their kids that??

I mean Google has been my really good friend but sometimes we need other people who are going through that thing or have already experienced it to guide us along the way. Honestly, I have been putting my trust in God and I’ll keep putting my trust in God because He really is helping me. God has been helping me so much on this growing up journey and I really thank Him for that. Beloved, don’t forget to put your trust in God today because He gives guidance and help to us wherever we need it.

That’s all for today y’all. I really want to know your thoughts, so please leave a comment. Tell me in the comment if you relate or just tell me what you think about growing up and tell me about your own experiences. Peace out! Bye y’all:)

Photo by Ksenia Chernaya on Pexels.com

I just put this picture here because I love the minimal feel. Have a great weekend!

The truth about my blog..

Hello people! How is your week going? I really hope it is going good so far. For me, I have been really really bored. I have just been watching movies on YouTube and Netflix, as well as reading and listening to music. Also, school starts again in about two weeks and I am so ready! Man, I just want to be done with school already. Anyway, I am already sharing too much information. Let us get into today’s post:)

So, I know that a lot of you would be very very confused about today’s topic but I promise you it’s not complicated. I am simply going to be telling y’all about the truth of this blog. Just keep reading, it gets better and clearer.

Currently, I am re-reading the book, “AMERICANAH” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, which is one of my all-time favorites. The main character, Ifemelu is a blogger. She is very bold and fearless in her writing. She writes a lot about race because she is a black woman in New York, who has gone through so many things and has seen a lot due to her race. I really love the way she writes and how she is very real in her blog. She is not trying to please people with her writing, she is mainly putting her thoughts and opinions out there. Seeing the way she writes and is very real with her readers really moved me.

It actually got me thinking. I thought about my blog and how I am trying so hard to be a people pleaser. I am not writing what I really want to write. I am writing what I think people would love to see and read. If you know me, you would know that I am a very deep person. I have a lot of stuff running through my mind and I would love to write about those things. My blog is like my little space on the internet where I let my readers explore my mind. I want to write about all the things in my mind. It might get a little personal but not really because I am not that type of person that exposes myself. I just want to write about all the thoughts that run all over my head. The thoughts that keep me up at night. The thoughts that make me lose concentration while doing something or talking to someone. All those interesting and deep thoughts. Also know that I am still going to be writing about God and my faith/Christianity. It is just going to be more real!🤗🤗

Another thing that moved me to review my blog is the book, “So You want to talk about Race” by Ijeoma Oluo(..ps, I am really really loving this book so far..) Ijeoma is a blogger. She is also a black woman in America who has seen a lot and has gone through so much because of her race. In her blog, she talks about racial discrimination and other race topics that a lot of people shy away from. I love Ijeoma’s boldness and realness. She is not just writing what people want to see. She is writing about something so dear to her. She is putting herself out there. She is not trying to please anybody with her blog. I must say, Ijeoma is an amazing woman.

In all, in case y’all did not get the memo yet, things are going to change on this blog.😊 I am tired of being a people pleaser and I am done with trying to write what I think people would like to read. This is growth for me and I am also thankful to God who also showed me that I need to stop trying to please people. This blog is about to be ON FIRE!! With a big smile on my face, I welcome y’all into the mind of Bee.😌🙃

Also, I decided to start uploading a new blogpost twice a week. I will be putting out a new blogpost on Wednesdays and Fridays, so help me God. I know y’all want to know the full gist behind this. I’ve got you. So, if you did not already know, I love writing. I thought that since I love writing, why am I only uploading a blogpost once a week?? To be honest, the reason why I only upload once a week is because I literally do not know what to write about. I am always thinking of a topic that people would want to read but that is over now! Y’all are going to be blessed by me twice a week now😜 That is all for today. Thank you everyone for your support! Bye:)

Photo by luizclas on Pexels.com

This picture is literally how I feel right now. I feel good letting it all out. Please do not stop supporting me and do not stop reading. It gets so much better from here!

Why do I like talking about controversial issues so much?

Wawu!! I know I have been gone for a while now. I am really really sorry to my faithful readers. I had to clear my head and reconstruct my blog because I want you all to see premium content while still being myself( I hope you understand). Anyway, I have made some nice changes to this blog and that means more amazing content coming your way. Y’all better be prepared!!

Okay, enough of the unnecessary talk. Let me not waste your time too much and just go ahead into what you are going to be reading about today.

If you follow me on Instagram, see my status posts on WhatsApp, listen to my podcast or just know me personally, you should know that I am very very passionate about speaking up on every issue that is going on in our society that spikes up controversy. We all know that they are so many topics in our society that really deserve attention and we all know that everyone has their own opinions on all these topics. We also know that they are some people who are lost amidst everything and they do not even understand these topics or know what to think of them, that is where I come in. I mean, you can think of me as an educator or maybe a teacher or maybe an activist or maybe a public speaker or maybe a talkative or maybe someone with a lot of sense. Whatever rocks your boat!

Okay, so I am someone that loves to speak up. Whenever I see or hear something that I think is morally wrong, I do not hesitate to talk about it. Also, if I watch a movie or read a book and it talks about some things that are part of our society and I think they are really wrong, I talk about them or I make a post relating to those things on one of my many social media platforms. Just in case you have been wondering all these while, the main reason why I talk about these issues or topics is to bring awareness to them. If I do not play my part and talk about these things, how will people know about these things and learn?? Honestly, I think that it is really important to speak up about things because you do not know who needs to hear it or needs to learn about that thing.

Another thing is that I think a lot of people have been brainwashed by this society we live in. There are so many traditions and cultural rules that are very very flawed but people do not know that and they keep believing these things. So many people have been brainwashed by their culture and traditions to think that doing certain things is okay but due to the evolution of the world, these things are extremely wrong now. Some of the topics that culture/tradition/society has brainwashed people on are Rape, Toxic Masculinity, Domestic Violence, Mental Health Issues, Marriage, Abuse, Gender Equality, Toxic Parenting, amongst many others.

The reason for my passion and my general goal is to spread awareness to as many people as I can and to debunk a lot of these topics that people have been brainwashed on. Also, my goal is to help people see how the world has evolved and to understand that certain things are just not okay anymore. I really really hope that people gain something or learn something whenever I talk about these controversial topics/issues because my main goal is to educate everyone. If you really want to be educated on a lot of controversial issues/topics, you can check out my podcast https://anchor.fm/ctamwithbee

This is what my podcast looks like, by the way.

Lastly, let me just tell you about where and how “age” comes into all of this. So, the thing is that older people tend to look down on the younger ones because they think that the young ones probably know little compared to them. This is actually very wrong because your age does not matter in speaking up about these issues and topics. Due to your young age, it does not mean that you lack sense or reasoning. Do not let anybody look down on you because you are young. Greta Thunberg is just 17 years old and she speaks up about the things that she is very passionate about that even older people do not have the courage to do. Honestly, I do not care that I am young and my age is never going to stop me from talking about controversial issues and topics. Do not be discouraged by your age, just do your thing and speak up about whatever you feel so much passion for.

By the way, if you are confused about what the “WAWU” that I used in the beginning means, it literally just means WOW. So, I hope you are wowed by this post.(#don’tleaveme😂)

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

I will just leave this picture here because I love it so much. Bye y’all!!

What I went through moving from Nigeria to America

I moved to America in 2017 and that was when everything changed. I would not say that I regret that decision but it was not the best decision I made either. Now that I am in America, I have realized that America is not really my happy place. To be honest, I only like America because of the countless number of opportunities available to teenagers.

So what was life like before moving to America?

Life before America was amazing. I was very very happy and I was very social. I had a lot of friends and I was somewhat popular in school. I was a newscaster for the school’s radio. I went for debate competitions. I went for church competitions. I was very much out there. I was even chosen to be on a bridal train a couple of times. In short, life was very easy for me then. I was doing so well with school and life in general. I had so much fun with my friends and family.

On Sundays, after church, my family and I went out a lot. Most times, we went to different restaurants to eat and take pictures. Sometimes, we looked for new amusement parks and we went there. Our favorite place to go was Olusegun Obasanjo Presidential Library(OOPL) which had several parts to it, like a zoo, a library, different eatries, a swimming pool and many more. We stayed there till it was late and we just had so much fun together.

Also, holidays were super amazing. During Christian holidays, we went out to visit all my parents’ friends. We also went to the houses of other members of our family. However, during Muslim holidays, we hosted parties at our house because my father is Muslim. We hired caterers to help with the cooking because we usually had a large number of people come to our house then. Some of my friends come to our house and it was really really exciting.

Life after moving to America

After I moved, everything became so different. My social life went downwards. I no longer had a lot of friends and I was no longer interested in making friends. I lost my confidence and I became so shy. America is so different from Nigeria and I was so confused about a lot of things. I was very unfamiliar with the food and “culture” in America.

When I started school in America, I went through a lot with the teachers, the students and the way of teaching. I started in 8th grade and it was not really a good experience for me because there were just two other black people in my grade. There was no one to relate to and there was no one to befriend because I was just so different from the rest of them. The way I looked was different. The way I spoke was different. The way I dressed was so different too. In short, everything about me was so different from the other kids in school. I could not mingle with the other kids because of our differences and I lost my confidence because I thought that the kids in America were so much better than me regarding their looks and style.

How is life now after living in America for three years?

Life in America now is pretty great, even though sometimes I still wish that I had just stayed back in Nigeria. I am not very very happy yet but I am getting there. My confidence is back now and I go for school competitions and school outings. I am even a member of the student government in my school. I have also gotten a hang of the American accent and I can speak it quite fluently now(*inserts laugh emoji). I am still not interested in making friends because over the years that I have been in America, I have learned that it is okay to be alone so that you can look after your inner peace and it is okay to just have only one or two friends.

I am really thankful to God for bringing me to America because a lot of people want to be in America but they just cannot afford it. I am really thankful to my parents too for being nice people and for being good parents. Lastly, I am also thankful to America for all the opportunities that I have been granted since I moved. America is really amazing but I just cannot wait to move back to Nigeria and live in Lagos.