Hi y’all! How are you doing? I really hope you are doing alright:) If you really are not doing okay right now or you feel so lost and tired, I just want to tell you to please try to keep your head up! Sometimes, life just doesn’t feel great but I want you to tryyyy and keep moving and just please remember that no matter what’s happening to you currently, you will be fine eventually; even when it doesn’t feel like you’ll be fine, you’ll be, I promise and that’s because God says so! Please keep going🤍
So how am I doing? I guess from the title, you already kinda know how I am doing. Yeah, life is not going so great for me right now. I am just so all over, everywhere and I honestly don’t know how I really feel. I guess I just kinda feel lost somewhat but I am living. I am really trying to keep my head up and I am just going because I know that God definitely got me, so I will be alright!
Alright, let’s move onnn..
You know, today I was just thinking of how people see me from the outside. From what people tell me, and have told me, people see me as “perfect” from the outside. Like they think I am so hardworking, smart, intelligent, diligent, focused, and many more good stuff. This just feels so freaking weird because it’s like whyyyyyy and howwwwww? I literally don’t get it. Like, why do they think I am that person..
Honestly, I just lied to y’all! I actually get it. I get why they view me as that kind of person; it’s because that’s how I project myself to the outside world.
“Heyyy, pause a minute! I am smart, intelligent, and so much more! Just wanted to get that straight!”
As I was saying, I mean, I don’t want people to see the ugly and dirty because just like every human, I guess I am scared of vulnerability. I don’t just want to expose myself to everyone, you know. I don’t want them to see the person behind all the “perfection” or “inspiration” they all see. I don’t want to open myself, I’d rather be in secret- this is not a good habit, by the way.
I have realized that we all do this. Literally everyone! We don’t like showing people the vulnerable parts of us and believe it or not but this is mostly because of fear. We are really scared of different things and this fear we have holds us back whenever we want to show people that we are also struggling. I don’t even know whether to call this normal because it’s not normal, it’s just what we have turned to normal. This is the reality, y’all:(
For real, I am not doing alright. I have been so tired, so lost, and just so done. There, I said it! I just broke my fear of vulnerability(woww moment!!!!) Anyway, I have just been thinking about the future a lot; my future actually and things are not going so well in my head right now. The funny thing is that, I don’t even know the source of my tiredness and exhaustion, I just don’t even know..
You know that feeling of not knowing how you feel, that’s kinda me right now.. Also, when I was planning to write this post, I was so gingered because I knew what I was going to write but I started writing and everything just flew away from head. So, I am not even sure if this blogpost makes any sense at all but hopefully it does.
One more thing.. Although, I am feeling like this, I am really really trying to keep holding onto God because I know that no matter what, He’s got my back and will always do because He is a great God. God is so good, y’all. Like every time I just feel so down, God tells me that I should remember that He says in His Word that He’s got me forever. Fam, God is so amazing! No matter what you are going through right now, please remember that God promised to never leave his beloved(YOU) alone, so He is with you always and you have to always remember that!
Before I go, I need to share this Bible verse with y’all.
Isiah 41 vs 10, says, “So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”
Please always remember that verse and always read it to yourself every time so that it really sinks in. God loves you!! That’s all for today!
Um, also I have kinda been struggling with consistency, hence why I have not been posting regularly but I am working to get back on my grind. Thank you still for always reading. God bless you!
Love you all always🤗🤗