Hi y’all! Happy Thanksgiving! How are you doing? I really hope you are still fighting for yourself and you are trying your best to keep your head high up despite whatever you are currently going through in life. Remember, I am always here for you to talk to:)
So, how am I doing? I honestly don’t know how I feel; I know I am just living. Although, there is this part of me that’s bursting with positive energy and the feeling of excitement all because of God’s goodness. Other than that, I honestly just don’t know how I feel and what to feel; I kinda feel just so blank. Don’t worry, I am okay though, I promise. I’ll always be okay:)
Alright, let’s move on..
Okay, so I just finished watching a show(don’t ask me for the name). It was a rude awakening really and I think it’s the reason why I suddenly feel so blank. You know, my head is full of just so many thoughts, things I want to say but that feeling of blankness is still so obvious and it’s just there. This show just really moved me and I feel stuck in the reality that the show has pushed me into.
I am not going to explain what the show is about here, I am just going to tell y’all some things that the show told me and some things I got from it. Maybe, I’ll also be able to explain why I am in this state of not knowing what to feel(just maybe).
One big thing that the show speaks on is isolation. I truly believe that when most of us hear about isolation, we think of cases of people like Genie but isolation doesn’t have to be severe for it to be present. I feel like a lot of people in this world, although they have friends, and families, are suffering from their own type of isolation. Somehow, most of us just don’t feel like we have people around us and we just feel so isolated from the world around us. We can see the people around us but we can’t feel them. We feel stuck in this big bubble that can’t fit anyone else except us. We feel lost despite being surrounded by a crowd. We feel faraway, disconnected from the reality of people around us. We can’t seem to acknowledge this people who are around us. We truly feel stuck in our own little bubble that no one else can get into or maybe no one has tried to get into..
For some of us, it might seem like we are very big extroverts but the truth is that we really don’t know how to properly interact with the world around us. We feel away(gone) and we feel like no one is looking after us. We feel like no one can truly see us; we feel like people are around but are not truly there with us. So Yes, the feeling of isolation is real and many of us experience it, although most of us don’t acknowledge it, for whatever reason. Most of us do feel like this little unwanted pea amongst a field of big crops. We feel left out and not seen. You know, sometimes our feeling of isolation can be seen or perceived as a product of our imagination but you honestly can’t blame people(well, the ones who think like that) because sometimes we might just be too shallow to see beneath the surface. It’s sad but it’s reality..
Another thing that the show speaks on is not knowing how we feel; not being able to express our emotions. I think this is exactly what I am feeling right now; maybe I unconsciously got too deeply affected by the show. Anyway, the feeling of not knowing what we feel and how we feel is truly real.
Sometimes, we just don’t know.. You know, I feel like this can be caused by so many things. Maybe you’ve felt too much and now this feeling of blankness has been cast on you. Maybe you’ve been hurt too much and now your mind is just blank. Or maybe you just cannot explain it, I don’t know honestly because I have not got all the answers. All I just know is that this can truly happen to you and it doesn’t mean you are weird, you are just human; I think by now we should all have realized that being human is very complex.
If you are experiencing this feeling right now, I honestly don’t know what to tell you because I am also feeling it. I’ll just say that don’t let it stop you from moving. Don’t let it tie you up, you can still keep going but if you feel like you truly need a break, then go for it. Keep moving but realize that you are allowed to stop for a break sometimes. Don’t worry, you’ve got this! We are all going to be fine..
You know, when I started writing this post, I didn’t know what direction it was going to go but if you are reading this, that means you read it to the end. I hope you got what I was trying to say because you know, sometimes my thoughts are all jumbled up..
Anyway, don’t forget to keep fighting and I promise you because God is a good God, you’ll be okay. You can leave a comment if you relate or if you have any thoughts or questions. I really love reading comments and replying to them. God bless! Bye y’all:)
Love you all always🤗🤗